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Ben
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PostSubject: Re: "Fun" Chat!   Fri Oct 28, 2011 8:03 pm

Aree't'sa wrote:
Ben wrote:
You're homeschooled? I didn't know that. I was homeschooled all my life until this year (high school)...

Yep, you're already helping me with a story that you are keeping secret Wink I'll vouch for him, he's a good guy! Smile
It's not exactly a secret.


Don't remember, are you referring to that forum game plot outline that you hijacked?

Um, yes Smile Yes I hijacked that, you're right. how is it not a secret? Smile

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Aree't'sa
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PostSubject: Re: "Fun" Chat!   Fri Oct 28, 2011 8:13 pm

Ben wrote:
Um, yes Smile Yes I hijacked that, you're right. how is it not a secret? Smile
My being homeschooled isn't a secret. Your series, unless you've made the administration subforum open-access, will remain a secret for as long as Deus isn't allowed to drink alcohol

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Ben
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PostSubject: Re: "Fun" Chat!   Fri Oct 28, 2011 11:36 pm

Aree't'sa wrote:
Ben wrote:
Um, yes Smile Yes I hijacked that, you're right. how is it not a secret? Smile
My being homeschooled isn't a secret. Your series, unless you've made the administration subforum open-access, will remain a secret for as long as Deus isn't allowed to drink alcohol

The administration subforum obviously I'm not going to make viewable to the "masses"... and Deus hates smokers, so hopefully he hates drunkards as well.

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Deus Otiosus
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PostSubject: Re: "Fun" Chat!   Sat Oct 29, 2011 1:14 am

Aree't'sa wrote:
Ben wrote:
Um, yes Smile Yes I hijacked that, you're right. how is it not a secret? Smile
as long as Deus isn't allowed to drink alcohol
Authority couldn't stop me, so you're lucky I hate drunkards and alcohol. Since there are things wich I would kill myself for doing, I would never allow my judgment to be clouded.
Ben wrote:
Aree't'sa wrote:
Ben wrote:
Um, yes Smile Yes I hijacked that, you're right. how is it not a secret? Smile
My being homeschooled isn't a secret. Your series, unless you've made the administration subforum open-access, will remain a secret for as long as Deus isn't allowed to drink alcohol

The administration subforum obviously I'm not going to make viewable to the "masses"... and Deus hates smokers, so hopefully he hates drunkards as well.
I do.


Don't worry, not even my sister or Magma see the administration chats.
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Eric 'Hawk' Mickle
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PostSubject: Re: "Fun" Chat!   Sat Oct 29, 2011 3:40 am

Today I went to the public library, whos computers don't auto-matically log off people. When typing mocpages.com I saw a keyword for minecraftforfree.com, I went there. There was a world made (no log off), so I had a little fun with it.

Detonated TNT and a sign that said 'Cheater >=D' was left behind.
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Eric 'Hawk' Mickle
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PostSubject: Re: "Fun" Chat!   Sat Oct 29, 2011 3:48 am

Aree't'sa wrote:

Unrelated:
If anyone's got a story or series that they need a bit of help with or just want someone to bounce ideas off of, I'd like to mention that I'm always available for that sort of thing and that I'd like to think I can keep a secret. I'd offer an example, but that'd discredit my case.

So yeah.
I got a series I'm building/writing at the moment. Linky.

That's pretty vague though, thoughts?
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Aree't'sa
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PostSubject: Re: "Fun" Chat!   Sat Oct 29, 2011 6:42 am

Eric 'Hawk' Mickle wrote:
Aree't'sa wrote:

Unrelated:
If anyone's got a story or series that they need a bit of help with or just want someone to bounce ideas off of, I'd like to mention that I'm always available for that sort of thing and that I'd like to think I can keep a secret. I'd offer an example, but that'd discredit my case.

So yeah.
I got a series I'm building/writing at the moment. Linky.

That's pretty vague though, thoughts?

Well:
The thing that sticks out most, to me, is the writing.

F'rinstance:
Instead of
Quote :
Disobedience is the direct route to chaos, that is the last thing I want...
Take what you need, be wise in your choices though,…
...not every member of Fatius Industries can be trusted.
I would've written:
Quote :
Disobedience is a direct route to chaos; this is the last thing I want.
Take what you need, but be wise in your choices...
...not all of the Company's men are reliable.
Fairly minor changes, all-in-all, but they make it flow better.

Other than that, not much information, but it sounds like a cyberpunk story to me.

I actually have a work in a similar theme (corporations run things and kill each other over money, etcetera) but it's complete and utter schiesse; as such, it never got posted online. I could give you a copy which you could plunder for ideas, if you want, but it's, well, pretty bad at best. Not many mis-spellings, but grammatical errors and bits that don't flow right abound. And the dialogue... the dialogue is (feces), however you look at it. Wrote it when I was 13, so...

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Little Ewok
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PostSubject: Re: "Fun" Chat!   Sun Oct 30, 2011 12:55 am

SpaceGypsy wrote:
Ben wrote:
Aree't'sa wrote:
Oh look, Mocpages' server decided to take a nap.

Speaking of sleep...

Another reason why it is better here rather than MP.
Yeah, they should introduce Private Messaging to MOCpages.
Yeah PM on MP would be cool.
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Eric 'Hawk' Mickle
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PostSubject: Re: "Fun" Chat!   Sun Oct 30, 2011 2:54 am

Aree't'sa wrote:
Eric 'Hawk' Mickle wrote:
Aree't'sa wrote:

Unrelated:
If anyone's got a story or series that they need a bit of help with or just want someone to bounce ideas off of, I'd like to mention that I'm always available for that sort of thing and that I'd like to think I can keep a secret. I'd offer an example, but that'd discredit my case.

So yeah.
I got a series I'm building/writing at the moment. Linky.

That's pretty vague though, thoughts?

Well:
The thing that sticks out most, to me, is the writing.

F'rinstance:
Instead of
Quote :
Disobedience is the direct route to chaos, that is the last thing I want...
Take what you need, be wise in your choices though,…
...not every member of Fatius Industries can be trusted.
I would've written:
Quote :
Disobedience is a direct route to chaos; this is the last thing I want.
Take what you need, but be wise in your choices...
...not all of the Company's men are reliable.
Fairly minor changes, all-in-all, but they make it flow better.

Other than that, not much information, but it sounds like a cyberpunk story to me.

I actually have a work in a similar theme (corporations run things and kill each other over money, etcetera) but it's complete and utter schiesse; as such, it never got posted online. I could give you a copy which you could plunder for ideas, if you want, but it's, well, pretty bad at best. Not many mis-spellings, but grammatical errors and bits that don't flow right abound. And the dialogue... the dialogue is (feces), however you look at it. Wrote it when I was 13, so...
This 'mini-series' won't be much about the whole business-warfare concept I have in my theme, it will focus more on Wolf evading the companies forces.
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Ru
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PostSubject: Re: "Fun" Chat!   Sun Oct 30, 2011 2:58 am

Aree't'sa wrote:


Unrelated:
If anyone's got a story or series that they need a bit of help with or just want someone to bounce ideas off of, I'd like to mention that I'm always available for that sort of thing and that I'd like to think I can keep a secret. I'd offer an example, but that'd discredit my case.

So yeah.
Actually I would like to bounce some ideas. I've dug myself into some holes with this story.
http://www.mocpages.com/folder.php/131431
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Medieval Guy
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PostSubject: Re: "Fun" Chat!   Sun Oct 30, 2011 4:16 am

Ru wrote:
Aree't'sa wrote:


Unrelated:
If anyone's got a story or series that they need a bit of help with or just want someone to bounce ideas off of, I'd like to mention that I'm always available for that sort of thing and that I'd like to think I can keep a secret. I'd offer an example, but that'd discredit my case.

So yeah.
Actually I would like to bounce some ideas. I've dug myself into some holes with this story.
http://www.mocpages.com/folder.php/131431

Yeah, you're now restricted almost entirely to your CYOA, except for small builds. My advice: either tell the CYOA participants that you don't want to do it anymore, or abruptly kill them off. Either way, your problem is eliminated.
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Ru
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PostSubject: Re: "Fun" Chat!   Sun Oct 30, 2011 4:37 am

Medieval Guy wrote:
Ru wrote:
Aree't'sa wrote:


Unrelated:
If anyone's got a story or series that they need a bit of help with or just want someone to bounce ideas off of, I'd like to mention that I'm always available for that sort of thing and that I'd like to think I can keep a secret. I'd offer an example, but that'd discredit my case.

So yeah.
Actually I would like to bounce some ideas. I've dug myself into some holes with this story.
http://www.mocpages.com/folder.php/131431

Yeah, you're now restricted almost entirely to your CYOA, except for small builds. My advice: either tell the CYOA participants that you don't want to do it anymore, or abruptly kill them off. Either way, your problem is eliminated.
That's not it at all. I'm fine with contiuing the CYOA, and have some great ideas for it.
I just have a few kinks in the story that need to be worked out.
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Medieval Guy
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PostSubject: Re: "Fun" Chat!   Sun Oct 30, 2011 5:06 am

Ru wrote:
Medieval Guy wrote:
Ru wrote:
Aree't'sa wrote:


Unrelated:
If anyone's got a story or series that they need a bit of help with or just want someone to bounce ideas off of, I'd like to mention that I'm always available for that sort of thing and that I'd like to think I can keep a secret. I'd offer an example, but that'd discredit my case.

So yeah.
Actually I would like to bounce some ideas. I've dug myself into some holes with this story.
http://www.mocpages.com/folder.php/131431

Yeah, you're now restricted almost entirely to your CYOA, except for small builds. My advice: either tell the CYOA participants that you don't want to do it anymore, or abruptly kill them off. Either way, your problem is eliminated.
That's not it at all. I'm fine with contiuing the CYOA, and have some great ideas for it.
I just have a few kinks in the story that need to be worked out.
Oh. Well, I just entirely misunderstood you.
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Eric 'Hawk' Mickle
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PostSubject: Re: "Fun" Chat!   Sun Oct 30, 2011 6:38 am

Medieval Guy wrote:
Yeah, you're now restricted almost entirely to your CYOA, except for small builds. My advice: either tell the CYOA participants that you don't want to do it anymore, or abruptly kill them off. Either way, your problem is eliminated.
I think Areetsa is the last person you'd say 'I'm not continuing this story' to.
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Aree't'sa
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PostSubject: Re: "Fun" Chat!   Sun Oct 30, 2011 11:19 am

Ru wrote:
Actually I would like to bounce some ideas. I've dug myself into some holes with this story...

A few too many analogies for my tastes, but I suppose writing medieval-ish sounding dialogue takes practice.

A few notes:

1: you can ignore this one since it's set in a fantasy universe, but anyway: you would be very unlikely to find an armed woman in anything approaching a realistic medieval setting. Just something I want to point out.

2: Wizard guy: "Join the dark side, we have cookies!"

3: Want to point out: about 400 years ago, standard procedure for a military unit in the field could be described with four words: rape, pillage, murder, and burn. For one, they tended to feed themselves off of the land. For two, the vast majority of soldiers wanted nothing to do with the whole "fighting" business and got caught up in their feudal obligations.

4: Needs more -z-e-p-p-e-l-i-n-s- blimps.

5: Ah, you've got a vampire in the party, I notice.

6: Plot seems a bit strange.

So, about the kinks you've got in your plot:

1: Someone once said that if you write yourself into a corner, you should have a man come through the door with a gun in his hand. Food for thought.

2: Some indiscriminate murdering would probably help things along. I can lend you Fred for an episode, if you want; he's got a talent for that sort of business.

3: Arson is always a good idea. How about a forest fire coming down on the refugee party? Again, Fred's got a knack for that kind of thing.

4: Time travel is great for shaking stuff up.

5: Undead are immortal, barring accidents and murder. 200 years is a long time to come up with a coup plan that's almost foolproof.

6: Related to the above: marauding skeleton armies are always effective. That giant sauntering axe-skeleton of mine hasn't been up to anything lately. You can borrow him if you want.

7: Riots/uncivil war?

8: Does your fantasy series have Basilisks in it? How about that mythical cow-like beast that scared off its enemies with a 100-metre spray of liquid excrement? (It's a real myth, by the way. Can't remember the name, though. But yeah, a spray of liquid excrement would alter your plot in a hurry.)

9: Springweed. Just... springweed. Looks harmless, you walk past, and then wham! Two foot spear of vegetable matter through the chest. Was going to play a part in that Rogue Faction series of mine, but it exceeded its effects budget and got cancelled.

10: A touch of the Plague would do nicely.

11: Space Vikings. Or regular Vikings, either way. Loot, pillage, burn, etcetera. Although maybe you've got a handle on that already.

That's all I can think of at the moment, partly because I'm a bit pressed for time and partly because there's no hard details of your plot right now. Seer says "Don't trust anyone", wizard-god says "Seer's a traitor", and if this was the MOCIA, they'd both turn out to be liars right about the same time the goblin army they've spent the last fifteen years building up together comes out of the ground and takes over.

But then, my stories don't tend to be as clean cut and "goodies VS baddies" as most. By which I mean the "heroes" seem to be murderers, the "villains" seem to be honourable and nothing is quite as it looks.

But yeah.

Oh, and I'd kill off that baby troll in a hurry, were I you. The only good that sort of character does is annoying people and getting killed in a blatant attempt to make things more dramatic.

Again, Fred could help there.

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Ben
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PostSubject: Re: "Fun" Chat!   Sun Oct 30, 2011 10:50 pm

Anyways, who is Fred exactly?

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PostSubject: Re: "Fun" Chat!   Mon Oct 31, 2011 1:53 am

Ben wrote:
Anyways, who is Fred exactly?
Yeah, who's this Fred?
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Ru
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PostSubject: Re: "Fun" Chat!   Mon Oct 31, 2011 2:22 am

Aree't'sa wrote:
Ru wrote:
Actually I would like to bounce some ideas. I've dug myself into some holes with this story...

A few too many analogies for my tastes, but I suppose writing medieval-ish sounding dialogue takes practice.

A few notes:

1: you can ignore this one since it's set in a fantasy universe, but anyway: you would be very unlikely to find an armed woman in anything approaching a realistic medieval setting. Just something I want to point out.

2: Wizard guy: "Join the dark side, we have cookies!"

3: Want to point out: about 400 years ago, standard procedure for a military unit in the field could be described with four words: rape, pillage, murder, and burn. For one, they tended to feed themselves off of the land. For two, the vast majority of soldiers wanted nothing to do with the whole "fighting" business and got caught up in their feudal obligations.

4: Needs more -z-e-p-p-e-l-i-n-s- blimps.

5: Ah, you've got a vampire in the party, I notice.

6: Plot seems a bit strange.

So, about the kinks you've got in your plot:

1: Someone once said that if you write yourself into a corner, you should have a man come through the door with a gun in his hand. Food for thought.

2: Some indiscriminate murdering would probably help things along. I can lend you Fred for an episode, if you want; he's got a talent for that sort of business.

3: Arson is always a good idea. How about a forest fire coming down on the refugee party? Again, Fred's got a knack for that kind of thing.

4: Time travel is great for shaking stuff up.

5: Undead are immortal, barring accidents and murder. 200 years is a long time to come up with a coup plan that's almost foolproof.

6: Related to the above: marauding skeleton armies are always effective. That giant sauntering axe-skeleton of mine hasn't been up to anything lately. You can borrow him if you want.

7: Riots/uncivil war?

8: Does your fantasy series have Basilisks in it? How about that mythical cow-like beast that scared off its enemies with a 100-metre spray of liquid excrement? (It's a real myth, by the way. Can't remember the name, though. But yeah, a spray of liquid excrement would alter your plot in a hurry.)

9: Springweed. Just... springweed. Looks harmless, you walk past, and then wham! Two foot spear of vegetable matter through the chest. Was going to play a part in that Rogue Faction series of mine, but it exceeded its effects budget and got cancelled.

10: A touch of the Plague would do nicely.

11: Space Vikings. Or regular Vikings, either way. Loot, pillage, burn, etcetera. Although maybe you've got a handle on that already.

That's all I can think of at the moment, partly because I'm a bit pressed for time and partly because there's no hard details of your plot right now. Seer says "Don't trust anyone", wizard-god says "Seer's a traitor", and if this was the MOCIA, they'd both turn out to be liars right about the same time the goblin army they've spent the last fifteen years building up together comes out of the ground and takes over.

But then, my stories don't tend to be as clean cut and "goodies VS baddies" as most. By which I mean the "heroes" seem to be murderers, the "villains" seem to be honourable and nothing is quite as it looks.

But yeah.

Oh, and I'd kill off that baby troll in a hurry, were I you. The only good that sort of character does is annoying people and getting killed in a blatant attempt to make things more dramatic.

Again, Fred could help there.
Thanks for the input Areetsa! Gives me allot of of ideas.
I think I'll try and do some good/evil line blurring. And hopefully the plot will start making some more sense soon.

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Caleb Z.
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PostSubject: Re: "Fun" Chat!   Mon Oct 31, 2011 11:55 pm

it's snowed yesterday and we lost power. Sad
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PostSubject: Re: "Fun" Chat!   Tue Nov 01, 2011 2:49 am

Caleb Z. wrote:
it's snowed yesterday and we lost power. Sad
Why did you loose power? And it's weird how it's snowing in the USA in October.

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Eric 'Hawk' Mickle
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PostSubject: Re: "Fun" Chat!   Tue Nov 01, 2011 5:50 am

E.K.Ocreations wrote:
Caleb Z. wrote:
it's snowed yesterday and we lost power. Sad
Why did you loose power? And it's weird how it's snowing in the USA in October.

It's not too surprising in New England.
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PostSubject: Re: "Fun" Chat!   Tue Nov 01, 2011 12:42 pm

Ru wrote:
Ben wrote:
Anyways, who is Fred exactly?
Yeah, who's this Fred?

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PostSubject: Re: "Fun" Chat!   Tue Nov 01, 2011 9:01 pm

Ah, that Fred. >.>

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PostSubject: Re: "Fun" Chat!   Wed Nov 02, 2011 6:22 am

Speaking of Fred, I HATE FRED FIGGLEHORN!!! HIS VOICE IS SOOOO ANNOYING!!! I WANT TO STAB HIS FACE UNTIL HIS EYES ARE THE COLOR OF A PUMPKIN IN A MICROWAVE!! Ok, yeah. To get to the point, I HATE FRED!!!
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PostSubject: Re: "Fun" Chat!   Wed Nov 02, 2011 10:06 pm

Wangster wrote:
Speaking of Fred, I HATE FRED FIGGLEHORN!!! HIS VOICE IS SOOOO ANNOYING!!! I WANT TO STAB HIS FACE UNTIL HIS EYES ARE THE COLOR OF A PUMPKIN IN A MICROWAVE!! Ok, yeah. To get to the point, I HATE FRED!!!

You seem to be an angry fellow...
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PostSubject: Re: "Fun" Chat!   Wed Nov 02, 2011 10:18 pm

Deus Otiosus wrote:
Wangster wrote:
Speaking of Fred, I HATE FRED FIGGLEHORN!!! HIS VOICE IS SOOOO ANNOYING!!! I WANT TO STAB HIS FACE UNTIL HIS EYES ARE THE COLOR OF A PUMPKIN IN A MICROWAVE!! Ok, yeah. To get to the point, I HATE FRED!!!

You seem to be an angry fellow...

"ANGRY?!?!?! MEEEEEEEE!?!?!?!?!? ANGRY!!?!?!?!?!?!? I'M NOT ANGRY!!?!?!?!??!?!?!?!"

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PostSubject: Re: "Fun" Chat!   Thu Nov 03, 2011 10:45 am

Ben wrote:
Deus Otiosus wrote:
Wangster wrote:
Speaking of Fred, I HATE FRED FIGGLEHORN!!! HIS VOICE IS SOOOO ANNOYING!!! I WANT TO STAB HIS FACE UNTIL HIS EYES ARE THE COLOR OF A PUMPKIN IN A MICROWAVE!! Ok, yeah. To get to the point, I HATE FRED!!!

You seem to be an angry fellow...

"ANGRY?!?!?! MEEEEEEEE!?!?!?!?!? ANGRY!!?!?!?!?!?!? I'M NOT ANGRY!!?!?!?!??!?!?!?!"
Why can't all people just get along?
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Deus Otiosus
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PostSubject: Re: "Fun" Chat!   Thu Nov 03, 2011 5:21 pm

Ben wrote:
Deus Otiosus wrote:
Wangster wrote:
Speaking of Fred, I HATE FRED FIGGLEHORN!!! HIS VOICE IS SOOOO ANNOYING!!! I WANT TO STAB HIS FACE UNTIL HIS EYES ARE THE COLOR OF A PUMPKIN IN A MICROWAVE!! Ok, yeah. To get to the point, I HATE FRED!!!

You seem to be an angry fellow...

"ANGRY?!?!?! MEEEEEEEE!?!?!?!?!? ANGRY!!?!?!?!?!?!? I'M NOT ANGRY!!?!?!?!??!?!?!?!"

The funny part is that I was talking to you.
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PostSubject: Re: "Fun" Chat!   Thu Nov 03, 2011 11:30 pm

I was at the Swedish Railway museum yesterday, I took at trip with the "Ghost train" attraction they had there this week. However, I wasn't able to bring my camera and take pics of the old trains they have there, my dad kept it as a surprise. :P
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E.K.O.
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PostSubject: Re: "Fun" Chat!   Fri Nov 04, 2011 12:46 am

47 more posts and we are at 1000 posts. Smile
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Eric 'Hawk' Mickle
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PostSubject: Re: "Fun" Chat!   Fri Nov 04, 2011 5:52 am

I saw someone do donuts at the intersection near my house. I thought it was my brother's friend, currently living here, but he wasn't.

Randomocity
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Aree't'sa
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PostSubject: Re: "Fun" Chat!   Sat Nov 05, 2011 9:54 pm

Eric 'Hawk' Mickle wrote:
I saw someone do donuts at the intersection near my house. I thought it was my brother's friend, currently living here, but he wasn't.
The Lord invented shotguns for a reason.

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"There is no reason to say I am narrow-minded. Just do it my way and you will have no problem at all." - Guenter Wendt.
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Eric 'Hawk' Mickle
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PostSubject: Re: "Fun" Chat!   Sun Nov 06, 2011 12:14 am

Aree't'sa wrote:
Eric 'Hawk' Mickle wrote:
I saw someone do donuts at the intersection near my house. I thought it was my brother's friend, currently living here, but he wasn't.
The Lord invented shotguns for a reason.
I was about a 100 meters away, and didn't have one. Too bad though.
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Deus Otiosus
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PostSubject: Re: "Fun" Chat!   Sun Nov 06, 2011 4:05 am

Eric 'Hawk' Mickle wrote:
Aree't'sa wrote:
Eric 'Hawk' Mickle wrote:
I saw someone do donuts at the intersection near my house. I thought it was my brother's friend, currently living here, but he wasn't.
The Lord invented shotguns for a reason.
I was about a 100 meters away, and didn't have one. Too bad though.
Don't listen to him, he doesn't know what he's talking about. Machine guns are SOOOOO much better.
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Medieval Guy
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PostSubject: Re: "Fun" Chat!   Sun Nov 06, 2011 4:30 am

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PostSubject: Re: "Fun" Chat!   Today at 12:09 am

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